* Sleep at EVERY opportunity - the dishes will wait
patiently for you. * Read Baby Blues cartoons - they are incredibly
accurate and hilarious www.babyblues.com
* Noise is good - cherubs don't need silence to sleep
and IF you are rested and feeling active, doing the
house, putting on a new roof, redecorating the next
room will all be comforting noise letting your babe
know you are there. One major exception to this rule -
the front door bell - disconnect it!
* Ice cubes and straws are great toys in restaurants
* If you want to get a changing table - that is fine,
but know that you will be spending the next 2 years
sitting, kneeling, or just collapsed on the floor
anyway and that you will end up changing your cherub
there most of the time.
* Have a basket with wipes and diapers in every room
that you two play in.
* If you are putting a sleeping infant down on a
surface - make sure it is warm or they will snap awake
instantly - fleece blankets are always warm.
* Even if you are fanatical about fabric diapers -
there is still a place for disposables. The first
couple of months, when you cannot breath for being
tired - don't add to your load of to do's with that.
Also anytime you and your infant are going shopping or
visiting, make sure to change them into a disposable
before you go, so that you don't have to drag a poopy
diaper around the world with you.
That said, if you are visiting someone who has not had
children yet, and you leave a poopy disposable in their
garbage, the instant you drive away they will double
or triple bag their garbage, put it out and be busy
spraying the bin with antiseptic and scrubbing it out
with a toothbrush!
For their benefit carry a medium sized ziploc in your
diaper bag and take the evidence away with you.
* Stock up on ziplocs - they are great! All sorts of
uses.
* If you leap to comfort your baby at every bump you
send them the message that the world is dangerous and
they are fragile. Bite your lip and wait. If they are
really hurt you will know from the loooong pause
before they wail. Otherwise, just an acknowledgment or
a quick hug is fine. They are far more hardy than we
ever give them credit for and we need to help them
learn that they are capable and strong.
* ANY other opportunity you have for hugging and
cuddling and kissing and tickling and stroking - TAKE!
Babies need to be touched - ALL the time!
* Don't leave a baby to cry. It is not good for
anything! You wouldn't leave a small baby kitten to
wail in the middle of a cold floor - would you? Well,
how much more does your baby deserve from you? Most of
the time, they want to be on your body. Remember they
are mammals - they are designed to want that. So go
with nature and find a way to wear them - a snugli or
a sling or something. Trust me, it will make for a
much calmer baby and a much more rested you!
* With the birth of your firstborn - you husband
instantly turned into a clumsy and ignorant giant. He
thinks so too, trust me. You HAVE to help him find his
way into this new world of itsy bitsy socks and
miniature snaps and creams. If you take the time to
show him what you have learned or better yet - learn
together - you will have a besotted daddy who will
happily hold your little darling while you sleep. This
is a good thing.
If you never trust him to hold or feed or dress the
baby, guess what - you will have to do ALL the
holding, feeding and dressing forever. This is not a
good thing.
Men will do it differently. Notice that is different
not wrong!
* If the rough housing your husband and baby do
together doesn't make you gasp with alarm at least
once a week he is playing it too safe. They play
differently, bear it in mind. It helps the baby
understand his body is resilient and useful. Mommies
are generally not good at this kind of play. It is a
Daddy thing.
* It is not written in any law that you have to answer
the telephone. If the ringing will wake you - turn it
off. They will either leave a message or phone back.
That goes for when you are all cuddled up counting
your babies toes too. Important moments take priority.
How would you feel if every time a machine made a
noise across the room, you were dumped out of a snug
nest while your Mom dashed over to speak to whoever
happened to be on the other end?
* If you are one of those women who can't wait to hop
back in the sack with your husband - yippee for you.
For the rest of the new Mommies out there - take it
easy. Nature has designed us to focus on the baby and
not to rush off and get pregnant again while we are
still needed. On average it takes months (many) before
we feel frisky again. But at the first glimmer of
frisky DO make the time for some gentle play with your
husband. He has been waiting a long long time. He
didn't realize that he was going to lose his
playground for more than a week or two!
* Read Vicki Iovine's Girlfriends guide to pregnancy
and the first year!
* Throw away the thermometer. You will know if your
baby has a temperature and how suddenly it came on. How high is irrelevant. That he has a temp is the important thing to note. Give him the appropriate medication and then see a doctor if need be. My husband is an Emergency Room physician and he had to patiently explain this to me about 8 times
before I put my thermometer away. Ask you doctor to
explain it to you.
* If you are going to give your darling a pain medication, then don't be stingy with it. Make sure the pain goes. If
you give only a little bit then you will have to give
more in a shorter time. Besides your baby will soon
learn there is no advantage to swallowing this goop
and you will accustom his body to wanting more.
* Grape is always better tasting than cherry - every
baby I know agrees.
* If, God Forbid, you have to insert a suppository,
start with a stretch of cling wrap over your little
finger, a large dollop of lubricant (Vaseline or KY)
and make it very, very quick.
* Speaking as one who really struggles with bleeding
nipples and engorgement and general pain with
breastfeeding - I can still assure you that in the
long run breastfeeding was a blessing for us. We do a
lot of traveling and it was soooo convenient. Also once
you get it right it is the BEST feeling!
That said I think that the cuddling and snuggling is
the really important part and if you choose to use
bottles instead, go for it! Just be sure that you make
the time for the snuggling.
* When in a surprise situation and waiting is
unavoidable you can always improvise toys. A good one
is the plastic coke bottle (that you grabbed from a
passing teen) with a penny dropped inside it and the
lid screwed back on = fabulous rattle!
* You will discover that for the early part of the
year your baby will lie quite happily in a nest you
make from the couch cushions and a blankie - you won't
need bassinets unless you want them.
* Chicken bones that have had the spiky bits removed
make great teethers and help your baby feel included
in your meal.
* Taste all the cereals you plan on feeding to your
baby - bland is good, but some of them are just
hideous!
* If, God forbid, your baby burns her hand, run a
basin of really cold water and add tons of ice cubes.
Let her play with the ice cubes to soothe the burn.
* Clean the kitchen sink out, run some warm water, add
Tupperware and measuring spoons and baby - now you can
cook to your hearts content and your baby will play
and get clean - bonus. This will only work for later
in the first year, obviously, when your child can sit well,
but it still works on my 2 year old!
* Avoid the cutesy baby language - your child has to
learn to speak your real language anyway - why make it
harder for them? Besides you sound like a nitwit.
* Talk to your darling all the time. Tell them
everything you are doing even if you feel silly. This
is how they learn. Your left your dignity at the first
gynae visit.
* If you have a friend who has several children and
she offers to babysit yours - say: Yes Please and
Thank you. Once you have 2 or more it is actually
easier to have playmates for them than not.
* Saying yes to almost every offer of babysitting will
help your baby learn that you will always come back.
That really helps on the occasions that you really do
have to leave and they will eventually arrive.
* Beware of the blues. Notice them and know that they
are normal and if they get out of hand seek help
sooner rather than later. One of my biggest regrets is
that I waited 3 years before getting help. That is 3
years of dancing with my babies that I missed. Get
help. For your baby's sake.
